What Did They Say?
I’m sure everyone that has ever flown has heard these things but maybe you didn’t pay that much attention, so I’m going to examine them in more detail.
You have arrived at the airport early and made it through security with an hour or so to go before your flight leaves. After a brief walk to the gate you scrounge around for a newspaper that a traveler before you might have left. You find one but it’s missing all the good sections. Finally you give up on free reading material and decide to tough out the next 40 minutes without something to read.
After repeated glances at your watch you see that it should be time to begin boarding. Then comes the announcement, ladies and gentlemen flight 123 to the middle of nowhere has been delayed and will be rescheduled!
What you say as you race to the counter to ask about the delay. You can see the airplane sitting at the gate right there at the end of the jet way, a jet way clearly marked with the gate number you are supposed to leave from. How long will the delay be you ask? Here it comes, the attendant says 15 minutes. What you may not know is that the airlines clocks are marked in 15 minute increments. I can’t remember ever being delayed less than 15 minutes. It’s the standard reply for delays.
You don’t feel too bad because, heck you managed to wile away the last 30 minutes doing nothing the next 15 should be a piece of cake! Soon you begin glancing at the old chronometer again thinking the 15 minutes should be up by now. Believing you have correctly identified the passing of at least 15 minutes you return to the counter to ask what’s up. Again you get the 15 minute song and dance but you say 15 minutes have already passed only to hear, oh this is another 15 minutes the first one wasn’t enough!
This process is repeated several times, to the point that you forget how to read your watch. Why didn’t they just say it would be an hour and half delay? I know if they had told us the truth there would have been a passenger uprising, but by milking the 15 minutes delays they figure everyone can make through 6 short delays but not one long one!
Finally pre-boarding is announced. Ladies and gentlemen will begin pre-boarding flight 123 to the middle of nowhere (now 1 ½ hours late). If you need assistance or are traveling with small children please pre-board now.
Ok what is pre-boarding, pre is before and boarding is, in this case, getting on the airplane. So are we to get on the airplane before we get on the airplane.
Once aboard (if you pre boarded I’m not sure exactly how you did it) you settle into your seat, fasten the belt and await departure.
Shortly after take off you are expecting the seatbelt sign to go off but instead they announce the following. Ah, we are experiencing a little turbulence; the captain has asked that you continue to observe the seat belt sign until we are clear this bad spot. Right away you suspect this will take at least 15 minutes!
Now I don’t know about you but I plan to cheat this one, I’m not watching a seatbelt sign for any amount of time! You know I don’t think that’s what they meant. I’m beginning to think that airlines are not good communicators.
The flight progresses nicely and with only a handful of passengers still following the unreasonable instructions, their eyes firmly focused on the seatbelt sign, we are getting ready to land.
Ladies and gentlemen will be landing in approximately 15 minutes; I could have guessed that one, after we have landed please keep your seatbelts fastened until we have come to a complete stop at the jet way. Please continue observing the no smoking sign until you are well into the terminal.
Ok two things here, what is a complete stop, the plane will either stop or not. How am I going to continue to observe the no smoking sign until well into the terminal, I can no longer see it after I get of the plane? Oh and there those few passengers who haven’t yet stopped observing the seatbelt sign.
I think I’ll cheat this one too!
Guess how long I waited for my bags at the baggage carousel!
You have arrived at the airport early and made it through security with an hour or so to go before your flight leaves. After a brief walk to the gate you scrounge around for a newspaper that a traveler before you might have left. You find one but it’s missing all the good sections. Finally you give up on free reading material and decide to tough out the next 40 minutes without something to read.
After repeated glances at your watch you see that it should be time to begin boarding. Then comes the announcement, ladies and gentlemen flight 123 to the middle of nowhere has been delayed and will be rescheduled!
What you say as you race to the counter to ask about the delay. You can see the airplane sitting at the gate right there at the end of the jet way, a jet way clearly marked with the gate number you are supposed to leave from. How long will the delay be you ask? Here it comes, the attendant says 15 minutes. What you may not know is that the airlines clocks are marked in 15 minute increments. I can’t remember ever being delayed less than 15 minutes. It’s the standard reply for delays.
You don’t feel too bad because, heck you managed to wile away the last 30 minutes doing nothing the next 15 should be a piece of cake! Soon you begin glancing at the old chronometer again thinking the 15 minutes should be up by now. Believing you have correctly identified the passing of at least 15 minutes you return to the counter to ask what’s up. Again you get the 15 minute song and dance but you say 15 minutes have already passed only to hear, oh this is another 15 minutes the first one wasn’t enough!
This process is repeated several times, to the point that you forget how to read your watch. Why didn’t they just say it would be an hour and half delay? I know if they had told us the truth there would have been a passenger uprising, but by milking the 15 minutes delays they figure everyone can make through 6 short delays but not one long one!
Finally pre-boarding is announced. Ladies and gentlemen will begin pre-boarding flight 123 to the middle of nowhere (now 1 ½ hours late). If you need assistance or are traveling with small children please pre-board now.
Ok what is pre-boarding, pre is before and boarding is, in this case, getting on the airplane. So are we to get on the airplane before we get on the airplane.
Once aboard (if you pre boarded I’m not sure exactly how you did it) you settle into your seat, fasten the belt and await departure.
Shortly after take off you are expecting the seatbelt sign to go off but instead they announce the following. Ah, we are experiencing a little turbulence; the captain has asked that you continue to observe the seat belt sign until we are clear this bad spot. Right away you suspect this will take at least 15 minutes!
Now I don’t know about you but I plan to cheat this one, I’m not watching a seatbelt sign for any amount of time! You know I don’t think that’s what they meant. I’m beginning to think that airlines are not good communicators.
The flight progresses nicely and with only a handful of passengers still following the unreasonable instructions, their eyes firmly focused on the seatbelt sign, we are getting ready to land.
Ladies and gentlemen will be landing in approximately 15 minutes; I could have guessed that one, after we have landed please keep your seatbelts fastened until we have come to a complete stop at the jet way. Please continue observing the no smoking sign until you are well into the terminal.
Ok two things here, what is a complete stop, the plane will either stop or not. How am I going to continue to observe the no smoking sign until well into the terminal, I can no longer see it after I get of the plane? Oh and there those few passengers who haven’t yet stopped observing the seatbelt sign.
I think I’ll cheat this one too!
Guess how long I waited for my bags at the baggage carousel!
posted by Bill Sheets | 3:18 PM
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